Pre-Vacation Guarantees

A few things are bound to happen right before you go on vacation.

First, you'll have the busiest week ever at work. The universe will decide to restore balance and will make up for all the weeks where you had nothing to do (and nowhere to go) by cramming all of the time-consuming work into the four day work week you originally hoped would be super chill.


You'll inevitably have an extremely busy week outside of work, too. Leaving you with the choice between packing and going to bed at a decent hour. Or showering and going to bed. Coffee will be the only thing getting you through the day. And the candy from vacation Bible school. That's breakfast.

People at work and drivers on the road will sense that you're days away from hopping on a plane to a tropical paradise. Their jealousy will overflow and you'll be forced to handle passive aggression and idiot driving decisions. It'll totes throw off your day, so you'll definitely escape to the Starbucks where everyone knows your face (and is learning your name) for a #sadnessfrapp. You'll proceed to stroll around the expensive downtown antique stores that carry furniture that literally looks like they 3D printed it off Pinterest.


But no amount of blerg will distract you from the fact that in less than 48 hours you'll be out of the country for the first time in three years. And the fact that you're gonna get so damn tan.


Be back July 7th!
♥ A

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